Do I honor my reality in my writing life? I don’t know. And what does that even mean?
I still haven’t achieved the perfect balance between writing and life. There. I said it. It’s hard to work a 40 hour work week, commute an hour each way and still find time to exercise, clean house, and cook healthy meals, let alone write. Who am I kidding? Most days, I achieve the work week and the commute, and we microwave something or go out to eat, and the rest doesn’t happen. That means writing doesn’t happen every day either. But the 40 hour work week and long commute can be grueling some weeks. So maybe I do honor my reality. Reality kicks my butt sometimes.
Another question comes to mind when I think about this topic, and it is at least as important. Do I honor my writing? Not as consistently as I’d like, but I am on a journey. I am a random writer. I am either on a roll and I am writing frantically, usually for a deadline, or I am doing other things and wistfully feeling bad that I am not up for writing that day. It makes me feel a little less “writerly” than all those dedicated souls who pound the keyboard no matter what. It makes me feel like I might not get there. But I do love that deadlines get me going. They can motivate me when nothing else will.
Last spring I enrolled in a contest. The contest dates were set and when I signed up, I noticed that if I placed high enough in the first round, the second round would fall right when I was on vacation. Sounds great, doesn’t it? I’d be off from that grueling work week and could concentrate on the story. Not so fast. Our vacation was a driving vacation up the California coast. And the reason we chose that? It was partly so I could do some research for a novel I have in the works. I figured I probably wouldn’t place high enough to make it to the second round because I hadn’t in the last contest. If I didn’t make it, I could drown my disappointment in vacation distractions and plan for the next contest. If I made it through – hey, that’s a good problem to have. We brought the computer along just in case.
Sitting in a hotel room in Monterey, I received the results. I got second place in my group and I made it to the second round of competition. After celebrating, the reality hit that I’d have to write an entire story on a laptop while on vacation. I brainstormed plot ideas in the car as we drove by California redwoods. I wrote the first draft in a hotel room in Arcata. I polished my final draft in a hotel room in Astoria, Oregon. That story didn’t place in that round, but the competition was stiff, and the comments from the judges were complimentary and encouraging.
What I take away from that experience is that yes, I have what it takes to honor my writing, even when the logistics are difficult. I am still a deadline driven writer, but I know now I can make time if I want to badly enough. That’s a good lesson to learn.
